I've Escaped!

I'm sitting at Starbucks, a place I usually try to avoid working at, due to my deep coffee addiction appreciation; but, I just had to get away from the kids out of the house. If you all haven't noticed it is already January 4th and I haven't been able to carve out a moment to share my New Years thoughts or my experience at the convent. I really, really, love my children, and now that their Christmas break is almost over, I'm really, really, happy to announce that they are both going back to their respective schools in just a few days (I'm certain that they are just as happy). So now that I have some space to think - I wouldn't exactly say that I have 'peace and quiet' here - without someone shouting, "MOM", I can get caught up.

So to begin, I want to wish everyone a Happy, Healthy, 2011.

For me, as the New Year approached I found myself becoming increasingly anxious. 2010 was a rough year, my diagnosis of apical ventricular cardiomyopathy and subsequent four surgeries pushed me into unknown, and frightening territory. I wanted to make the end of 2010, and the beginning of 2011 meaningful, significant - thus, the anxiousness. So, it seemed like Divine intervention when I came across the article in The Star, Spending New Year's Eve with the nuns. And that's what I did.

I arrived at the convent, The Sisterhood of St. John the Divine, at 10 am on the morning of the 31st and I left on New Year's Day at noon. My experience was everything I hoped for, and more. It was contemplative, restorative, inspiring, and gave me an intense experience of community. There were about 30 of us sharing a profound hope for a kind New Year. We came in all shapes, sizes, colours, ages, sexual orientations, and yet we all arrived with our experiences of 2010 seeping out of us unconsciously, begging for release. Sister Constance Joanna (CJ) guided us wisely, compassionately, through that release, and onto a vision for a New Year that expressed and embraced the hope that united such an unlikely group of individuals. During the retreat sessions held in the conference room our stories spilled out, but everywhere else in the convent, including meal times, we were committed to silence. A perfect balance. Silence and sharing.

Over the next few days I'll continue to write about the experience, share some photos, share the agenda of the retreat, and hopefully I'll be able to capture the emotion that we all experienced while walking the Labrynth, but for now, it's back to "MOM". My quiet time is over for today.

Blah Blah Blah

A good friend, who never fails to inspire me, and whom I have blogged about a few times in the past, suggested the title for this post. I explained earlier today, over a phone conversation, that I had to catch up on my dak giveaway reporting because, although I have not posted for a few days, I have been giving away my daks! So here's the update......

Saturday, December 12: this, unfortunately, was a dakless day - and not because I didn't try. I set out with an armful of green and red dakbands, my dak radar in full force, and after a busy day that involved breakfast in town, shopping, christmas tree shopping.....I hadn't given away a single dak. I'm not sure, but I'm beginning to think it's the season.

Sunday, December 13: We didn't leave the house because our four year old was quite sick. However, my fabulous, wonderful, loving daughter gave up most of her day to help wash floors, do dishes, vacuum, etc....I gave her a pair of bands because her kindness made my day!

Monday, December 14: I was forced to drag my still ill four year old out of the house, while I picked up some groceries. Once I got him back into the car, loaded all the groceries into the back, I realized that I had to return the cart. Ugh! At just that moment, a beautiful, elderly woman, offered to take the cart but she wanted to look for a quarter for me (the cart cost a quarter - guess where I shop). I explained that I didn't need the quarter, she was helping me by taking the cart because my son was in car. You'd have thought she had won the lottery. "Thank-you, and Merry Christmas," she said. I couldn't resist....that was my first Merry Christmas of the season.

Tuesday, December 15: I ran into the store for a few things, and the cashier was so awesome, it warmed my heart. She bagged my groceries, chatted with me about shopping, and then she was patient and kind when another customer rudely demanded her attention. I love people like her!

Wednesday, December 16: I put an entire package (24 sets) in the mail for Maryanne because her Christmas letter I received in the mail today was incredible (I am going to ask her if I can share portions of it with you - whoever 'you' are). Also, she promised to come and visit me tomorrow.

Remind me to tell you about the visit I had with my Mary Kay consultant today .....

Squire Daks

Tonight we were leaving Ye Old Squire, after our Friday night fish & chips (delicious as always), and as we were leaving a twenty-something gentleman held the doors for us. I gave him some christmas daks (green and red) with my usual speel, "These are for acts of kindness in our community. One is for you to keep, the other you can give to someone else doing something kind."

His response, "Cool. I'll do that, thanks!"

Sometimes it's just the simple things.

“The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion and compassion and humor and style and generosity and kindness.” Maya Angelou

Hospital Daks

The few of you that follow my little blog are probably thinking that my 'advent dak project', as I'm calling it, is taking on a similar on-again-off-again trajectory as my attempt to blog every day for a month. But you would be wrong. My failure to post about my dakband giveaways for the 9th and 10th, was not because I forgot, or didn't give any away, or was too busy....or any other regular excuse. I was in the hospital with a little heart scare :( But looking on the bright side, I had lots of opportunities to give dakbands to all the kind nurses and staff!!

To begin, I think it is important to say that our local hospital, Joseph Brant Memorial Hosipital, although facing staff shortages, funding challenges and a myriad of other difficulties, is filled with sincere, caring, hardworking individuals dedicated to serving the people that come through the doors.

Just a few stories that deserved daks:

Being in the trauma center (because my concern was heart related), there were some pretty sick individuals and stories taking place around me. All of them were moving. However, one woman who was very sick with complications due to chemotherapy, was being cared for by her 'best friend'(that was how she referred to herself). The patient could not talk because of a laryngectomy, so her friend translated for her, was asking doctors all the right questions, simply ensuring that her best friend was being cared for. She was there for hours!! She definitely deserved a dakband.

Yesterday an orderly was taking me down for tests. He could see that I was a bit nervous. So he very kindly gave me a mini lesson in meditation and relaxation. It was great. He was so gentle, and sincere. When he took me back to my room I gave him a pair of dakbands. His reaction was so touching. He told me that in Judaism daks would be called mitzvahs. I love that. I need to do a post about mitzvahs!! I saw him in the hallway as I was leaving and he had already given one of his bands away!

Striped Egyptian Hippopotamus

Today I was mailing our oldest son a care package - an exam tradition - so I was once again in line at the post office. I had no choice but to bribe Garrett with a striped Egyptian hippopotamus (daddy speak for zebra) that he found amongst a pile of plush toys in one of the aisles. While I was preparing the package and trying to keep Garrett from playing with the striped Egyptian hippopotamus on floor (because I had no intention of buying it!)I couldn't help but notice how the clerk was interacting with all the customers.

He was funny, attentive, patient and even shared a joke with an elderly Scottish woman who was in no hurry to leave at all. He created a sense of familiarity that brightened everyone's day and made us all feel great. I wasn't sure how he would react to the dakbands, being older and male, but his reaction was sincere and he immediately put them on his wrist. It really is all about the small gestures.

Yesterday was, sadly, a dakless day. Despite my dak senses being on full alert, I did not have one opportunity to share the kindness. Dakless days make me sad.

I did not forget!

I did not forget to give away my dakbands yesterday, I just ran out of time to blog about it!

Yesterday was good dakband day in fact. Armed (literally) with my red and green festive bands I left the house early to start the day with my sisters kick boxing class. Perhaps it was the physical exhaustion, but I did not give any bands away at the club. Not to be discouraged I picked up my husband and son and we headed off to brave the Costco crowd. I'm sure you can image what the line ups are like three weekends before Christmas - it's not pretty. Not to be distracted we navigate the flow of shoppers, pick up just what we need and then line up to pay. It is a looong line. My husband realizes that we forgot compost bags and wonders if he should run to the back of the store to get them. My look suggests that he probably has enough time to run to the next Costco to get the bags. Wouldn't you know it, he hasn't rounded the aisle when two new registers open and now we are the first in line. I try unloading the cart slowly, stalling best I can, but there is soon a girl helping and before I know it the cashier is asking if I want this on my card. I explain that my husband went to get something we forgot. Her look pleads, This is really not a good time..... I tell her to just ring it threw, no problem, we'll forget about the compost bags. Of course, as soon as I sign the card I see James at the back of the line, well I think it's him, he is so far away it's difficult to say. Much to our relief, she invites him over and rings in the bags. Now that is kind!

We head back to our car, unload the groceries and the child, and a very kind gentleman offers to return our cart. I need to hang out at Costco more often.

Merry Christmas

Well it has been a year since we initiated the dak project. An entire year. I should qualify though, because last christmas the only people with dakbands were friends and family. We kind of beta tested the concept before we went public.

I remember the first pair of bands I ever gave out. I was nervous. Really nervous. I was shopping at a local upscale mall, and I had had plenty of opportunity to give them away, but I wasn't sure of my approach. It was the 24th of December (and yes, I was shopping yesterday as well - I am always surprised when it is the day before Christmas and my shopping list looks the same as it did at the beginning of the month!) and I was in a 30 minute line up with a lot of other miserable and tired looking shoppers. There were two lines, equally long, and the only thing more depressing than the length of the lines was the look on the faces of the poor girls at the cash register. However there was an elderly lady in front of me, and didn't she just light up that store! She was like little Christmas elf, happy and joyful, chatting to me, the people in front of her, the people beside her in the other line, to anybody and everybody. After she finally checked out, and was about to leave the store I reached out and touched her arm as she walked pass me. She paused, expecting me to wish her a Merry Christmas I'm sure, but I gave her two bands saying, " Thank-you for your joyful spirit, please take these dakbands in recognition of your kindness. One is for you to keep, the other is for you to give away when you see someone doing something kind." My heart was pounding. Then I realized that her eyes had filled with tears. She took the bands and said, "You have just made my Christmas. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everybody gave a pair of these away? Thank-you."

Of course, I can imagine, and that is why I created them.

I've never worried about giving the bands away again. In fact, other people in the line asked for some bands!

There are probably close to 50 or 60 thousand bands in the world right now. We certainly do not have stories for all these bands, but as the bands become more popular and people recognize what they are when they receive them, I'm sure the stories will come. Every story is truly a gift, the kind money can't buy. The stories are gifts to the whole world because they show us how kindness affects us, touches our heart, and gives birth to peace.

Merry Christmas!

Here are a couple of wonderful christmas daks, please check out band numbers: 143694, 21727 (Once on the track your dak page you have to enter the number in the 'Dak code' window and then click on the band number to read the story.)