Blessed!

   

I keep a gratitude journal. Every night, before I close my eyes, I acknowledge the moments, and gifts that enriched my life throughout the day. The idea being, that our awareness of what enriches our life is heightened by the commitment to focus on it everyday. Often my perspective shifts as I begin to reflect on what made my day richer: the riot of colour from the garden on the corner that explodes as the sun rises, the shade of grandmotherly maple trees as I run through the oppressive heat, picking sun ripened tomatoes from the garden, the inspiring intellect of individuals committed to problem solving…..finding a twoonie that enables me to buy that second doppio long espresso.

Recently, however, I had an encounter that triggered a deep and meaningful expansion of my understanding of gratitude. A window of lithe, beautifully dressed mannequins lured me into an unfamiliar store (which is saying a lot because I am really not a shopper in any sense!). Lamenting the fact that the dress might reveal a few too many bumps and lumps, the storeowner reassured me that I looked beautiful in the dress, and then graciously added, “ My mother blessed me with huge hips, and I wear that dress proudly.”

I bought the dress, and ever since I’ve been thinking about what it means to be blessed. Imagine, as a woman, feeling blessed with big hips. Blessed means: to bestow good of any kind, glorify, divine favour. Which is to say that this woman recognized her body, whatever the shape and size, as a glorious, divine, gift – and she appreciated it, celebrated it, in fact. Now, this is not a lesson in female body image and self-acceptance (although it never hurts), it is more of an insight into what it might mean to consider, each day, how we have been blessed.

Where gratitude means thankfulness, and it is good to be thankful, blessed implies a gift that we have been given undeservedly, just because we are glorious images of the Divine. All that is required is a tiny shift in consciousness from, I was cursed with big hips, to, I was blessed with big hips. The choice is ours. While I believe that recognizing how we have been blessed each day inspires gratitude, the gratitude is an outcome of the awareness that we do nothing to merit such gifts. It’s a matter of choice and perspective. A lot like deliberate acts of kindness.

In essence what I am suggesting is a reflective practice, in practical terms, of advice we have all heard countless times in our lives: ‘Count your blessings’. I imagine, as I think about it, that it was always meant to be a daily practice, to cultivate gratitude and awareness and compassion. It’s a simple shift, but an important one. I think from now on I’ll keep a Blessed Journal and nurture gratitude from the inside out.

I recently was blessed with some amazing experiences in Scotland, a country of extreme beauty and hospitality!

 
                                                                                                       

The Spaces Between Us

I recently came across a wonderful article at one of my favourite sites, Brain Pickings. It provides an excerpt from David Goslings' book, Science and the Indian Tradition: When Einstein Met Tagore. Most of us know who Einstein is, but if you're like me, you were probably unaware that Tagore was an Indian philosopher and poet, as well as, the first non-European to win the Nobel Peace Prize for Literature. In 1930 Einstein invited the then 69 year old Tagore to his home in Berlin. Gosling calls the conversation between the two great thinkers, "a masterful meditation on the most fundamental questions of human existence".

At one point Tagore is describing how he perceives humanity and the universe as inextricably linked. He compares humanity to matter. Matter is made of tiny particles that have gaps between them, although it appears to be solid. Humanity is made up of individuals, but we are inextricably linked by relationships. Using Tagore's model it stands to reason then, that the quality of the relationships, the energy that unites us, makes us solid, gives us form by teaching us about love, values, morals, and principles of truth, compassion, and kindness, determines how we exist.

While contemplating the magic of this analogy I stumbled upon some research about social capital. Social capital was first described in 1913 like this:

"I do not refer to real estate, or to personal property or to cold cash, but rather to that in life which tends to make these tangible substances count for most in the daily lives of people, namely, goodwill, fellowship, mutual sympathy and social intercourse among a group of individuals and families who make up a social unit… If he may come into contact with his neighbor, and they with other neighbors, there will be an accumulation of social capital, which may immediately satisfy his social needs and which may bear a social potentiality sufficient to the substantial improvement of living conditions in the whole community. The community as a whole will benefit by the cooperation of all its parts, while the individual will find in his associations the advantages of the help, the sympathy, and the fellowship of his neighbors (pp. 130-131)."

Interestingly, research suggests that neighbourhood social capital helps to generate more social capital between individuals and this in turn has a protective effects against depression. Instead of a vicious circle we have a virtuous cycle. I think that social capital is the gap that makes us appear solid, whole, united. I like to think that dakbands help to generate that social capital by reminding us that we are all part of the same Universe, inextricably linked - and how we treat each other matters (pun intended).

 

PINK DAY

    
 Today is International Day of Pink. And it has nothing to do breast cancer. Wearing pink today is about encouraging tolerance and compassion in an effort to stop bullying. Why pink? Well it's a wonderful story and warrants re-telling, even if you've heard it before. The condensed version goes like this:

A grade nine student wore a pink polo shirt on his first day of high-school at Central Kings High School, in Cambridge, Nova Scotia. The significance of that simple fashion choice would have profound consequences that no one could have predicted. The young man, who has never been identified, was bullied mercilessly and threatened with a beating. But, two young men in grade 12, heard about the incident and responded with an attack of their own - Ghandi style. They went into town, bought every pink shirt they could find and then rallied as many friends as possible through Facebook. Hundreds of students came to school the next day in PINK. Needless to say, the bullying stopped. (the original story can be found here)

As a mother of a son who was the victim of a scandalous bullying incident, at FIVE years old, I cannot even express the emotion I feel when I think of this story. Such courage, such wisdom and such kindness......it's no wonder it inspired an international movement. Bullying is a cultural problem, and requires a cultural response. Pink day worked because there was strength in numbers, compassion, and empathy.

Equally inspiring is Lady Gaga's recently founded organization called, Born This Way: "The Foundation is dedicated to creating a safe community that helps connect young people with the skills and opportunities they need to build a braver, kinder world."

Their mission is based on three pillars: 

Safety: creating a safe place to celebrate individuality

Skills: teaching advocacy, promoting civic engagement and encouraging self-expression

Opportunity: providing ways to implement solutions and impact local communities.

A braver, kinder world. That sounds like a conscious decision.
                                                                                                     

Upstream Reciprocity

I'm at the library trying to finish my thesis proposal, when I realized that we simply can't let the day go by without acknowledging our American friends' Thanksgiving holiday. Okay call it procrastinating, but that's my story.....

The other day I read a post on my Team Inspire  website (a website that connects patients, families, friends and caregivers for support and inspiration) entitiled, 'Things for Which I'm Grateful'. The author of the post was inviting members to post a short list of things for which they felt grateful, in true Thanksgiving spirit. Interestingly, there were 40 replies, far more than any other post, and keep in mind that these are people and situations that involve serious and sometimes grave health concerns. Despite, or maybe even because of, these serious emotional and physical burdens,the members came together to express and share their gratitude. The most recurrent theme you wonder? Family and friends, hands down. I am encouraged.

I guess it isn't really so surprising given that research suggests an attitude of gratitude has been associated with better health, better sleep patterns, a deeper appreciation of life and even more acts of kindness toward others. So perhaps intuitively, the Team Inspire members know this. But did you know that in an experiment done at North Eastern University, researchers discovered that individuals who had been helped by someone were more likely to engage in 'upstream reciprocity' and help someone else - even a complete stranger. And just in case you're wondering, upstream reciprocity is psychology speak for pay-it-forward! Love it.

So here is my short list of things for which I'm grateful:
- my health - my children - my husband - my morning coffee

I invite you to engage in some upstream reciprocity, dak someone today, and share your grateful list with us.

Reachable Moments

In his book, The Art of Affirmation, Robert Furey, writes of kindness as 'reachable moments'. Moments when people can truly be touched by affirmation, but the problem, he explains, is that these moments are "fleeting and easily missed" so we need to be attentive and observant in order to capture them. Funny, that's exactly how I feel. This quote from his book is a perfect, absolutely perfect, summary of kindness:

“Those who make compassion an essential part of their lives find the joy of life. Kindness deepens the spirit and produces rewards that cannot be completely explained in words. It is an experience more powerful than words. To become acquainted with kindness one must be prepared to learn new things and feel new feelings. Kindness is more than a philosophy of the mind. It is a philosophy of the spirit.”

A friend recently sent me this amazing story about kindness. It is powerful, beautiful, simple, and like all kindness, touching:

Put your dakbands on and start looking for those reachable moments. Affirm and encourage kindness. It will change your life, and those whom you dak.

Commonalities

When I do workshops with adults, and children, we often play a game called the Commonalities Game (from the Big Book of Team Building Games). Everyone chooses a partner, someone they do not know very well, and with a timer set for 2 minutes each couple has to write down everything they have in common with each other. It is incredibly fun, and a great way to get people to start thinking about how much we have in common rather than what separates us. In one workshop I had a 19 year old exchange student from Scotland paired with an elderly Sikh gentleman from Mississauga (Ontario)- they hold the record, with 37 things in common in two minutes. I'm still in awe. The other participants gave them a round of applause. I gave them dakbands :)

However, I recently came across another commonalities exercise from Ode Magazine in an article entitled, "Love thy neighbour, for he is me." The article speaks of the emotional and physical wisdom of being a good Samaritan, or altruist. The definition of an altruist is someone who is unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others. Apparently altruists are healthier than those who are not. In an effort to practice compassion, to recognize how simple gestures of kindness unite us in our humanity, try (as the article suggests) this five step exercise when you see someone who attracts your attention:

With your attention geared to the other person, tell yourself:

Step 1: “Just like me, this person is seeking happiness in his/her life.”

Step 2: “Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life.”

Step 3: “Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.”

Step 4: “Just like me, this person is seeking to fill his/her needs.”

Step 5: “Just like me, this person is learning about life.”

Then give them a dakband and ask them to pass it on.

As you watch this video, go through the exercise above, only ask yourself, how you can be more like him.......

Homeless Chicago Man Donates Thousands to Down-On-Her-Luck Banker: MyFoxCHICAGO.com

The Neuroscience of Kindness

I recently came across an article in Parabola magazine, that explains the science behind the benefits of living in healthy, vibrant relationship with one another. It was called the Neurobiology of We, by Patti de Llosa. As a budding scientist (I am finishing my Masters Degree, and planning on doctoral studies) I love it when science affirms what I like to call 'intuitive truths'.

Essentially, scientists have discovered, with the help of advanced imaging techniques, how the mind - your thought processes - can change the chemistry of the brain. This process, is known as neuroplasticity. The ability of the brain and mind to adapt to varying circumstances, physical or emotional. Dr. Dan Siegel, a pioneer in the field of interpersonal neurobiology and director of the Mindsight Institute, studies the neurobiology of "we". According to Dr. Siegal, we have a triangle of well-being: Our Minds, Relationships and Brains. He is convinced that the power of we can transform our society, by transforming individuals and helping to make us more compassionate.

Scientific evidence for the dakbands - how much better can it get.

Essentially, by practising mindfulness, compassion, and kindness, we change the chemistry in our brains. The brain is, apparently, a social organ and positive interpersonal exchanges cause more firing of neurons in our brains, and the release of neurotransmitters which puts us into a receptive state and this allows us to engage with others and to be receptive.

So, I invite you to engage your mind, improve your emotional and mental well-being and dak someone today.

“Our task must be to widen our circle of compassion, to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. ”

Albert Einstein (1879-1955);
theoretical physicist, philosopher, Nobel Prize winner

DAK Mentors

I recently came across an article by Shannon Cutts, that presented a unique paradigm for the old adage 'You are what you think'. Shannon's expertise is mentoring and eating disorders, and in the Huffington Post piece she suggests that media and advertising messages mentor us. Whether or not we are aware of it, these messages and images sink into our awareness and affect our thought processes. In other words, if the media continually presents messaging that affirms beautiful is a pre-pubescent, size 2, white female, then the thoughts those of us who do not conform to the standard have might sound like this: "I am too old to be beautiful"; "I am too fat to be beautiful"; "I am too dark skinned to be beautiful"; etc.....These thoughts mentor us. They teach us, direct us, and ultimately destroy us - if we let them.

What an interesting, fascinating concept, especially with respect to the deliberate acts of kindness project. Daks as mentors. We can choose who/what mentors us. We can choose to be mentors. What is important is the outcome. Ultimately, the thoughts and messages that mentor you, influence what you do, your actions.

Mentors = Thoughts and internal beliefs = Actions } Connectedness } Community

What you do determines how we all live in community.

So choose your mentors wisely.

Thought About it......

"People who think too much before they act don't act too much," (Jimmy Buffett).

As much as this might work in Margaritaville, I'm sure Confucius has some tidbit of wisdom warning of the foolishness of acting without thinking. And if it's true that wisdom comes with age, then I shouldn't need any reminders. However, I have to confess to 'gushing without thinking', yet again. A couple of posts ago I gushed over Secret Agent Laura Miller, a young woman who performs anonymous acts of kindness in the Pittsburgh area. I stumbled upon her story, because it was about kindness, and had momentum, I was all over it. Yet a few days later, I had some thoughts - some thoughts I should have had at the time.

Although I think what Secret Agent Laura is doing is wonderful, it is fundamentally different from what the vision and purpose of dakbands is all about. Which is to say, we want kindness to connect people, to encourage a kindness consciousness that appreciates the importance of making kindness something we do for each other, not under a shawl of anonymity, but in the presence of community. By sharing and offering dakbands to individuals who do something kind, in the presence of others, we send a message to the witnesses of the exchange that inspires more kindness, more connection, more community. Then of course there is the beauty of being able to track all the stories associated with each band, as it is passed on. There is value in seeing how one deliberate act of kindness, leads to another, which leads to another....

“I learned that inspiration does not always come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic, striving, but it comes into us slowly and quietly and all the time. ”
Brenda Ueland (1891-1985)
Journalist, editor, teacher

I will always be passionate about kindness, and I will always look for and share stories about kindness. Kindness inspires kindness in whatever form it takes. However, I'll also remember to share the context of the dakband project because I believe that it is slowly and quietly inspiring kindness around the world. And hopefully, through sharing, I can speed the process up :)

Sometimes.....

I need to apologize for my inconsistent (read, lack) posting the past weeks. It certainly isn't for a lack of material. In fact, I've read, witnessed, shared, and experienced, many acts of generosity, empathy, compassion, and gentleness over the past few weeks. Yet sometimes it is more difficult to write at these times. It's as if my spirit is overwhelmed by the spirit of kindness, and to try and express the depth and width and height of emotion that moves me is too difficult. Or perhaps I'm afraid of disappointment. That I will not be able to translate the power of these small acts, of deliberate acts of kindness, to change individuals, communities and the world, to others. Sometimes I feel like I need to do more, and ironically, I do less. But make no mistake, it is precisely, the effort each of makes to "bring heaven to earth" that changes the way we live in the world - and inspires others to do the same....


DailyGood: Over Ten Thousand People Attend His Funeral

Today's Heart Cards

I think being creative, letting your creativity shine, is really about balance. When we ignore our creative side - and we all have one - at the expense of work, or busyness, or fatigue, our soul begins to suffer. Creativity can be as simple as play, or even giving our imagination reign in a wonderful book. Let your creativity shine today.

And when I think of beauty, I pay attention to detail. Finding beauty in the small details of life. Beauty, I believe, is very much related to gratitude. So what you are thankful for becomes beautiful. (Which reminds me to continue my 1000 gifts of gratitude!)

Walking The Labyrinth

As promised, I'll continue my post from yesterday about my New Year's experience at The Sisterhood of St. John the Divine convent.

Here is the program we followed:
Friday, December 31
9:00 am Registration, refreshments
10:00 am First Retreat Session: Celebrating the Past - A Blessed History
12:00 noon Eucharist followed by silent dinner
3:00 pm Second Retreat Session: Visioning the Future - Your New Year
5:00 pm Silent Supper
7:00 pm New Year's Eve Vigil
7:30 pm Third Retreat Session: Finding your symbol in the Labyrinth
9:00 pm New Year's Eve refreshments

Saturday, January 1
8 - 9:00 am Silent Breakfast
9:00 am Morning Prayer
10:00 am Final Retreat Session: Sharing the Light
11:30 am Eucharist followed by talking dinner
1:30 pm departures

General Retreat Rules:
- there is no obligation to participate in any of agenda items
- no cell phones, alcohol, drugs or smoking in the Guest House
- silence in all sleeping areas
- spirit of quiet throughout the building
- Talking in the Conference Room, sitting rooms (with door closed), or outdoors
- meals are silent except for New Year's Day dinner

The balance of silence and talking was perfect. I'd never participated in a silent meal before, and it is quite a unique experience. I found it forced me to eat more consciously. At the end of the meal one of the sisters rings a bell, as a signal that the meal is finished. Everyone stands and says a brief thanksgiving. It was just one of the many enlightenments I enjoyed.

One of the highlights for me was walking the Labyrinth on New Year's Eve. The convent has a beautiful, eleven sided, stone Labyrinth modeled after the labyrinth at Chartres. Each stone in the labybrinth was laid with prayer and the sacredness can be felt upon approach. Before we entered the labyrinth, C.J. (our retreat leader) gave us all some notes on how to use the labyrinth prayerfully, meditatively. Unlike a maze, a labyrinth has no dead ends. There is one path into and out of the center. As you walk the path, you move closer to, and further away from the center. The center of the labyrinth can symbolize the goal of your life, God's heart, the center of the world - anything you want it to. Once you reach the center, you can stay there for as long as is needed. It is a place to focus, savour, release, connect with all of your senses, receive grace and enlightenment. The inward path and the outward path are opportunities of reflection. It is a personal journey. Some questions we were encouraged to ask ourselves as we made the journey included: What am I thankful for, what do I bring with me to the labybrinth, what am I leaving at the center, what am I taking away with me, what causes me to alter my path, is there a symbol that might represent this journey?

Despite the rain, almost everyone at the Retreat walked the Labyrinth. The following day, New Year's Day, we shared our experiences during the last session. The stories were profoundly moving. Some people created artwork that represented the symbol they received during their journey. Each piece of art and story was a gift of inspiration.

The opening of the New Year was kind and gentle to us all.

Kind food!

Remember how I mentioned having a blog post I just couldn't find the time to write. Well, this is it. Despite being a crazy busy day (that included the best chocolate croissants this side of Paris, at Patisserie D'Or), I put my camera in the car and headed for downtown Burlington, in between lunch and a major Costco excursion.

A few weeks ago we were downtown looking for breakfast treats and we happened to park the car across from a new cafe. My husband noticed it as I shrieked in delight. It is called, 'kindfood'. Now how cool is that! So today I stopped by to take some pictures, introduce myself to the owner and drop off some dakbands, because anybody with that kind of consciousness deserves to be recognized. I just missed Kelly (the owner), but I met their awesome staff and took these pictures: (that's my reflection on the door)






Look at their terrace. If this doesn't make you want to rush on over to taste their yummy offerings, nothing will. I felt happy just standing outside looking at the place!

Here are some helpful links:

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Stop by and support the kindness!

Birthday Kindness

I love birthdays. I'm not very good at remembering them, but I like to celebrate nevertheless. Thankfully my friends and family are much better at remembering birthdays than I am because my recent birthday was feted in the kindest of ways.

My dear friend Carolin made the trip from Toronto. She has to take a bus, a streetcar, the subway and finally the GO train to get here. She arrived carrying this:



(The cute white dog was not in the carrying case - he is mine)





Then in one day she did this:







She conscripted the entire family. It was the best gift ever. A transformation. All I had to do was watch. (Now, however, I do a lot of watering - which I carry out with great pride every morning and evening.)

Birthdays are wonderful because people who care about us make a conscious effort to be kind. They go out of their way, they plan, they work hard, they work together, to make us feel special and appreciated. The front yard wasn't the only transformation that day. I was expanded.

It's somebody's birthday today. Right now. It might be the person standing behind you in line at Tim Hortons - buy them a coffee. It might be the person running to catch the elevator - hold the door. You don't have to dig up a yard and build a garden, you just have to be consciously kind. It's transformative.

Ordinary Kindness

A friend sent me a belated Mother's Day gift yesterday. It was a link to Katrina Kenison reading a excerpt from her book, "The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother's Memoir". I immediately forwarded it to all my friends who are mothers, so it became a deliberate act of kindness, making each of us richer as we passed it along.

I've been ruminating about ordinariness since my first surgery, although, I wouldn't have defined it as such. Katrina's insights reminded me of what I was feeling, but unable to translate. How do we go back to ordinary once the fundamentals of our lives have changed inescapably. Today the answer took shape in my consciousness, and was strangely shaped liked a dakband.....My four year old, my mother and I invaded our local high price coffee chain, searching for a moment to fuel up and sit down at the same time. All the seating areas were occupied. However, a kindly soul, sitting alone in an area with four seats invited us to join him. I looked at the books he'd been studying, 8 Minute Meditations and The Secret, looked at my four year old and asked him if was sure. He smiled, and we sat down. He didn't stay long, but when he got up to leave I offered him two dakbands. His reaction affirmed what I suspected yet was having trouble articulating. When we become unfamiliar or uncertain in our lives, it is the simple kindnesses we choose to do that restores us, and those around us, to ordinary.

Like begets Like

A friend gently reminded me today, via email, that it has been sometime since I've blogged (thanks Marty). I had no idea so much time had passed. My last blog, April 5, was two days before finally leaving the hospital after a month long visit that included two surgeries involving my heart. Days are much shorter at home and recuperating has absorbed all my energy, but I am grateful for the reminder.

I am still living with the remnants of many acts of kindness that supported me through my hospital stay. Our home is filled with beautiful plants that will hopefully live to enjoy a special place in the garden - transplantation is their only hope. Our bureau is crowded with cards and notes, and a stack of books on the office desk will keep me 'well read' for months; although, truthfully, my reading time correlates directly with my stamina, inversely. So I hope the amount of time I have to read begins to diminish somewhat, meaning my stamina is increasing and I can do other things!

As I savor all the kindness that has enriched my life over the past while, I've noticed how my thoughts are influenced. Kindness begets kindness. Outward conditions and experiences are an expression of inner thoughts. The more I think about all the kindness, generosity and care that has been shown me, the more kind and generous and caring I feel and become. The more time that I devote to thinking 'Right thoughts' the less time and energy I give to negative thought habits. When our thoughts about others are merciful and generous we bless not only them, but ourselves.
We need to practice kind thoughts.

Tonight many Americans were kind and generous, supporting charities featured on Idol Gives Back. Please take a few moments think about these worthy organizations.

Remember, so within, so without.

The Love Gap

I'm not sure what the Valentine's Day equivilent to Scrooge is, but you might just consider me one after reading this post. However, in my defense, I think that Love in general is an awesome cause for celebration and awareness. Having said that, let me frame this post for you:

Yesterday, I was invited to a womens' study group. A good friend (and excellent hair stylist), is co-leading the group through Joyce Meyer's new book, The Love Revolution. I took copious amounts of notes, and enjoyed every love filled moment. And I was a little frustrated at the same time. For two years I've been using the dakbands to encourage people to reach out and connect with people, to make a conscious choice to choose kindness as an expression of love and compassion. With the understanding that, this choice will change how we all live in the world. So, when, at the end of the session we were asked to pull a 'love task' out of a hat, complete it before the next session and come back willing to share our story about completing the task, I wanted to jump up and scream " hello everybody......dakbands!!" I mean, really, what is a 'love task' but a deliberate act of kindness? (I'm done whining. Sorry Tara!)

As I reviewed my notes last night I felt inspired by an analogy that suddenly became very clear to me. Over the past year, while working on my Master's Degree and spending an inordinate amount of time doing research, it has become clear to me (and every other researcher on the planet) that there is often a gap between research and application. Research is one hundred percent theory. And theories are great, but unless there is some practical application, they don't help us. For example, a researcher theorizes that smoking causes lung cancer. Until that theory is tested, and eventually programs/laws are put in place to help reduce those risks, the theory itself isn't that useful. Love is the theory. But it isn't enough to talk about love. For love to be useful, we need to bridge the gap. Love must be applied. Kindness is not only a fruit of the spirit, it is the practical application of 'perfect love' in our lives and communities.

Maybe I need to write a book, The Dakband Revolution?

Practice Kindness

I came across a quote this afternoon:

Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.
Norman Vincent Peale

These days I am absolutely practicing hope. But it made me think about practicing kindness. Dakbands help us to practice kindness, to make kindness a habit, so that our character - the essence of who we are - becomes kind. I believe that kindness is the key to a happy spirit because it restores peace, both to ourselves and for those to whom we are kind. It replaces pettiness, criticalness, cynicism, jealousy and a myriad of other damaging behavior choices. Hopefulness helps us to achieve an optimistic spirit, which, according to researchers, promotes happiness. This is true. But hopefulness in itself, even if it becomes part of our character, a habit, does nothing for others. So, if you have to practice, practice kindness first. I think you'll find that hope follows.

A New Beginning

Happy New Year!

The New Year is off to a frantic pace, in my mind at least :) Where did the first ten days go? Today is the first day of quiet and solitude in my house. Everyone back to school and work, and I am drinking in the silence. I love New Year's Eve, the first few days of the New Year. I try to find time and space for reflection, to envision all the possibilities the new year offers, to reconnect with my purpose and commit to a consciousness that is at once full of grace and wisdom. I woke up at 5:00 am this morning anxiously waiting for everyone to leave the house so I could begin 'my New Year'!

I'm sharing the process with you.

In my inbox this morning was Oprah's newsletter and the title is, "Detox your soul with Debbie Ford's 21-day consciousness cleanse!" I have to admit that sounds wonderful. However, my immediate thought was, " I have to send Debbie Ford some dakbands!" It's that word, consciousness. It really is the key to growth and change. It is the foundation of the dakband concept as you know. Unfortunately our conscious minds are completely absorbed, for the most part, by our egos, the moment to moment tasks we assign ourselves for survival in the lives we live. We do need to detoxify our souls, to expand our consciousness and understanding of personal growth. I also believe that most of us need tools to help us accomplish this expansion. The dakbands are meant to be this mechanism. To connect us to each other by demanding that we focus, with intention, deliberately, on someone else, someone other than ourselves. Our consciousness is cleansed every time we make a meaningful connection with another human being. Our consciousness is expanded when we recognize that one simple act of kindness is all it takes to change the world. Our purpose is fulfilled when we both offer and celebrate these acts of kindness because we put forth an energy that stretches out and embraces people we may never know.


Let's make this year the year dakbands connect us to the world.

Please feel free to leave any suggestions, ideas, challenges that you feel we could feature on our website, or incorporate into our project. Anyone who leaves a comment will receive some dakbands.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard

Post office kindness

Of course I am somewhat biased but I love the intentionality of kindness. Whenever I am consciously looking for opportunities to give the dakbands away, for the most part, I find kindness everywhere.

Today in the five minutes I carved out of a ridiculously busy day to make a run to the post office to mail dakband orders I found myself behind twenty people mailing christmas cards and packages. My first thought was to just come back at another time, but seeing as this was my only break in the day, and quite frankly when would be a better time between now and Christmas in terms of lines? So I settled in and turned on my dakband radar.....when it was finally my turn (now there were twenty people behind me!), I put all my packages on the counter (note the audible sighs). After the clerk measured and weighed them all and told me the cost, I realized that I had forgotten my wallet at home. I am already late to pick my daughter up from the Go station, and my son from daycare......what to do I wonder. I could feel the crowd behind me becoming mutinous....

This kind post office clerk, offered to keep my packages until I could come back with my purse. So off I went. When I returned an hour and half later, she had them ready and waiting. She definitely got a pair of bands. And when I explained that they were for acts of kindness, one was for her to keep and one for her to give away, she immediately turned around and gave it to her co-worker!