Sticky Note Kindness

 
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I recently attended a positive psychology course with Louisa Jewel of Positive Matters. It was a wonderful two days, and as one might expect at a positive psychology workshop, I met some incredible people, whose stories I hope to share over the next week or so.

To begin, a story that takes place at a school in St. Catharines, Ontario. Perhaps it can remind us, although our hearts are heavy with sorrow, and aching for the families of Sandy Hook Elementary School, of what can be inspiring and transformative about school.

Early, long before the school bell rang, 20 young people set out to encourage their fellow students with 1000 acts of kindness. Although the event was meant to celebrate Random Acts of Kindness Day, there was nothing random about this at all – it was carefully planned, and one might even say in fact that it was a Deliberate Act of Kindness (which is really the best kind!).

In their own words, and pictures, here is their story…..

1. What inspired you to do this?

Our club, Mosaic, decided to do something for random act of kindness day so we were brainstorming ideas. We were inspired by another school in our area who also had the idea to post anonymous sticky notes with compliments on them. We wanted to do something special because we felt like our school really needed something like that to happen.

2. What was the reaction of your friends and others at the school?

Of course there were mixed reactions from the people in our school. The majority of people were in awe when they walked into school that day, and they thought it was cute.I saw a lot of people just slowly walking down the hallways, reading each different sticky note as they passed (some even took a few for themselves to keep). We got a lot of positive feedback from all the students and staff. We didn't advertise that we were the ones that did it, so no one thanked our group personally but there were posts on facebook and instagram thanking whomever did it! The only negative feedback that we got was that it was a "waste of paper", but the smiles and the compliments that we got made it all worthwhile. 

3. Has this little project inspired you to be more aware of kindness, and to do more?

YES!!! 

4. What is the best thing about being kind?

 The best thing about being kind is seeing the smiles and knowing that you made it happen.

   

                                                                                                     

Sunflower kindness

The other morning I was sitting on the patio, reviewing photos from my trip to Scotland when I noticed some commotion amongst the sunflowers in my garden. I picked up my camera and took a few shots without really knowing what exactly I was capturing. Suddenly I saw this:

 No wonder I couldn't see him, he (or she!) was camoflaged. See if you can find him in the next pictures:

It's like Find Waldo!
When I tried to get closer he and his mate flew off contentedly full I'm sure. But then I noticed another sunflower gift:

I'd sure like to try this honey!

Find your blessing and there you will also find kindness.
Elaine

Nice Hat!

  
As I was walking my pooché, Mojo, this morning, an elderly gentleman cycled past and shouted out, "Nice hat!" I shouted back, "Thank-you!"

  It changed the course of my day. I felt prettier, more confident, happier, and even considered chasing after him to give him a dakband; although admittedly my hat would have looked a lot less attractive squashed against my head with one hand, while the other dragged my small, white dog down the street simultaneously trying to wave the cyclist down. As I considered my options, I became aware of how difficult it was for me to simply accept the compliment without offering something in return, or even worse, deflecting it in some manner. I love to compliment people, in fact I make a point of complimenting a complete stranger every day. Yet, I struggle to accept the same gestures offered me.

Giving a compliment is certainly a deliberate act of kindness. Graciously receiving a compliment is also a deliberate act of kindness, both to yourself and the person offering the compliment. On an intellectual level I understand this, on an emotional level, well, let's just say I need practice. So I Googled, 'how to take a compliment' and this is what I found - it is great advice. Take four minutes to watch this video!

Practice today. Give someone a compliment, a complete stranger. Tell them you love their perfume, or their shoes, or whatever. Be aware of how they receive the compliment. Be aware of how their face and body language change, lights up. Be aware of how you feel. Now when someone compliments you, consider all these things and let your light shine. Just say, "Thank-you."

Here is a pic of my nice hat, and our beautiful Jaime.

                                                                                                        

Dutch Mammas

  

I don't usually lead with a photo, but really there isn't any other way to describe Dianne, my crazy, beautiful, sensitive - and need I say, FIT - friend of 34 years ( I might be amiss if I didn't add, Dutch).

She has too many talents to list, and I adore her for all of them. Best of all, she loves her Mama, who is equally tall, beautiful and Dutch.

This is from Dianne for her Mom.........

Like many of us, one of the ways our mothers show us their kindess and their love is through food!!  My mom is certainly one of those moms.

She knows what my favorite Christmas dessert is (her homemade butter tarts....ooooooh, the saliva starts flowing at the mere thought of those labour-intensive culinary treasures!) and she always makes sure there is a batch waiting for me at Christmas.

   Likewise, everyone in the family has a favorite food item that she lovingly prepares for each of us when we go to visit, or when she comes to visit us (cookie tins and coolers arrive packed full!) . It might be her special ribs, or her trifle, or her peach pie, or her lemon poppy seed cake, or her Cornflake cookies, or her shortbread cookies, or her pea soup, or her mincemeat pies, or her special cabbage, or her OLIBALLEN ( a Dutch specialty which used to be our New Year's Day treat) .

And everyone in the family knows that those treats get made for each specific person who particularly adores that food.   She spends hours....days.... in her kitchen in Burlington happily preparing these goodies for us.

She is a master in the kitchen.... she is a pro.  And she is such a loving, selfless mother, grandmother, stepmother, mother-in-law, wife.  I adore her for soooo many reasons, and I could undoubtedly go on, but I was asked to think of how she shows her kindness, and this was the first of many examples that came to mind.

So there you have it.... my first instalment of Betta Hoeve - The Kindness Queen.   In the next instalment, you will hear about how her worrying ways are also manifestations of the loving kindness for those who she holds dear.

Dianne Hoeve (a proud and appreciative daughter)

                                                                                                        

Drop, Drop......

A couple of weeks ago, the child psychologist that our son Garrett visits once a week (we call her Dr. Pam), introduced a book to him that has changed our lives - really. I was describing the book and transformation to a friend, and between mouthfuls of a delicious lentil curry soup at Kind Food, she simply said, "Sounds like something we should all practice."

The book is titled, Have You Filled a Bucket Today. With beautifully coloured illustrations, and simple text, this heartwarming story explains how each of us has an invisible bucket. Sometimes, when we are feeling happy, confident, special, included, our buckets are full. Other times, when we are feeling sad, lonely, frustrated, angry, our buckets are empty, or low. The authors teach us that we can fill other people's buckets in simple ways, which is signified by a drop, drop, drop.....or we can dip into people's buckets when we ignore them, are rude, or mean, and this is represented by a drip, drip, drip. Most poignantly, is the reality, that by filling up some elses' bucket, we fill up our own. There is a wonderful website with support materials called, The Bucketfillers.

This morning when I set Garrett's breakfast down in front of him, he looked at me and said, "Drop, Drop." This is a five year old. He gets it. I am one proud Mama. Now, whenever we go out about our day, we look at people and discuss whether they are putting drops in buckets, or causing them to drip out. Good practice.

I just have to point out the obvious, and draw the correlation to the dakbands. Talk about bucketfilling! In reality, this concept really sums up the dakband project from another perspective. It reinforces the importance of acknowledging, sharing, encouraging kindness every day, all day long. Become a bucketfiller, dak someone today.

Drop, Drop.......

Wild Kindness

My husband, two sons, one girlfriend, a couple who have been friends for years, their two adult kids, and another friend of ours went camping for a week at Killbear Provincial Park. There were ten of us in total. We try to camp together at Killbear for a week every summer. It is usually an idyllic week that conjures up the kind of memories that imprint a family for a lifetime. This week was no different, well that isn't quite true. We were definitely left with some interesting memories, but maybe ones we don't want to relive next year.

To begin, just a few short hours before our departure, I broke my right ankle while out for my early morning run. With a pair of crutches and strict instructions to be completely non-weight bearing, and a frustrating amount of logistical re-planning, we eventually departed - against doctors orders.

Upon arrival we couldn't help but notice a large sign that read, Active Bear in Campground. For someone who is completely immobile this is not encouraging. Unkindly, the jokes began (primarily from the men in our large party): 'we don't have to worry about being faster than the bear, we just have to be faster than Elaine'....and so on....Two nights later I had the last laugh when my husband got up - from our tent - to investigate the damage we could hear raccoons creating in our dinning tent. A few moments later I heard a terrible, LOUD, SNARL. It didn't sound the snarl of a raccoon. As it happened, my husband found himself face-to-face (within 4 to 6 feet) with a large, black bear who was none to pleased that he had been interrupted while enjoying the bag of sugar he discovered in a bin that had been accidentally left out.

My husband ran, contrary to all directives about what to do when one encounters a black bear. I for one, am thankful he did. We discovered the next day that the sign warning us about the Active Bear, was somewhat misleading. There should have been an "S" on Bear. There were about 7 Active Bears in the park. One visited our campsite, or a campsite near us every night. It was a week of blissful, sun filled, beach filled days, and sleepless, anxiety ridden nights. We heard car alarms, horns, dogs barking and even blood curdling screams, all efforts to scare bears away from campers hunkered down in little more than a glorified baggy.

Once the bears disappeared into the cover of day, and campers finally emerged to survey any damage and brew some much needed coffee we felt a camaraderie with our fellow campers that we hadn't experienced before at the park. Everyone began to look out for each other, warn new campers coming into the park about bear proofing their sites, and offer help and advice to those who had the harrowing experience of listening to the snorting of bear outside their tent. We were united, and kindness abounded. Interestingly, most of us felt compassion for the bears despite our fears, aware that we were after all in their environment. The fact that they are becoming conditioned to feed in the campsites, cannot portend good things for the bears.

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest to the rest of the world."
John Muir (1838-1914); naturalist, author

As for me, I traded in my ineffective crutches (as far as running goes), for a much more sophisticated means of escape transportation:

The Science Behind a Kind Heart

A few weeks ago I shared a post entitled, The Neuroscience of Kindness. It can be summed up by the following paragraph that appeared in the post:

Essentially, by practicing mindfulness, compassion, and kindness, we change the chemistry in our brains. The brain is, apparently, a social organ and positive interpersonal exchanges cause more firing of neurons in our brains, and the release of neurotransmitters which puts us into a receptive state and this allows us to engage with others and to be receptive.

In other words, there is scientific evidence to suggest that by using dakbands, practicing kindness, you can positively change yourself, and others. Really, I'm not making this up. Today, I discovered yet more scientific evidence, and this time it involves the heart. As some of you may be aware, I have had crash course on heart health this past year, and whether it's true or not, consider myself somewhat of an lay expert; so I was excited to read anything heart related.

Ode magazine presented a fairly in-depth article about the science behind HeartMath, "A change of heart, changes everything." Without giving you a Heartmath lesson, let me just share just a few of the salient points:

Research suggests that our emotions our faster and more powerful than our thoughts, and as a result the heart may be more important to our overall health, including cognitive function, than our brains. (I could have told you that)

When we think of cherished memories, love, compassion, friendship we can improve the rhythm of our hearts - change the rhythm from 'incoherent' to 'coherent'. (Yup, suspected that)

The electromagnetic field of the heart, can be measured up to three metres away from the body. (I cannot tell you how many electrocardiograms I've had in the past year, and I didn't know this)

Studies have demonstrated that if someone has a coherent heart rhythm they can positively affect the heart rhythm of those physically close to them. (WOW - I think I knew this subconsciously)

Let me sum this up .....

If I am wearing a dakband, consciously thinking about kindness, and looking for an opportunity to give my dakband to someone in appreciation for an act of kindness I witnessed them commit, then I am creating a coherent heart rhythm for myself. Improving my physical and emotional health. At the same time, I am sharing that coherent heart rhythm with all those around me. A whole new meaning of synchronicity.

Sharing kindness changes the world because it changes our hearts. (I knew that)

5 year old Kindness

On May 1st we moved my daughter, Brennyn, into her very own apartment (that she is sharing with 3 friends), in downtown Toronto. Last year was her first year of University, and although she loved her experience in residence, this is the next Big Step.
Last week my 5 year old, Garrett, and I, were going to the Go station to pick up Brennyn for an impromptu visit. This is our conversation on the way......

Garrett: "Why is Brennyn coming home to visit?"

Mommy: "She is probably hungry."

Garrett: "Don't they have food in Toronto?"

Mommy: "Yes, but you need money to buy food, and Brennyn doesn't have any money."

Garrett: "Don't they have banks in Toronto?"

Mommy: "Yes they do, but you need to have money IN the bank, before you can take it OUT of the bank."

SILENCE

Garrett: "Well, Brennyn can borrow some of my money in my Treasure Chest, as long as she pays me back."

Charlotte's Kindness

Do you remember the extraordinary kindness of Charlotte the barn spider? She saved Wilbur from the slaughter house with her writing skills:

SOME PIG

TERRIFIC

RADIANT

HUMBLE

E.B. White's bestselling children's story, Charlotte's Web, tells a magical story of friendship and kindness through the community of farm animals and a little girl named Fern, on Zuckerman's farm. In the end, sadly Charlotte dies, but Wilbur lives to a ripe old age and works hard to keep Charlotte's memory alive.

I couldn't help but be reminded of this timeless story when my friend Marty Mako sent me some pictures of a real life Wilbur who needs saving. His suggestion, in fact, was that perhaps Wilbur could become the dakband mascot, wearing multiple bands on each stubby leg :) Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure my 10lb Havanese, Mojo, would be fairly intimidated by Wilbur. However, I will absolutely play the role of Charlotte in an effort to save Wilbur.

CUTE PIG

FRIENDLY

House Trained!

If you are interested in making Wilbur part of your family, the Lincoln County Humane Society would most certainly appreciate your kindness - and so would all the Facebook fans.

Car Show Kindness

I am well aware that the Toronto International Car Show is over, but it has taken this full week to recover from our Family Day experience. Admittedly I am not really a big car fan, my relationship with automobiles is purely utilitarian. Soooo, spending an entire day at an event that involves looking at and appreciating cars doesn't top my list of fun things to do on a rare day off. However, my five year old LOVES cars. Did I say LOVE - that wouldn't quite capture his absolute adoration of anything that has four wheels and an engine. He can name the model (and make) of just about any vehicle on the road, at a glance. For him the car show was heaven.

I want to extend a great big thank-you to all of you who showed such patience kindness during the course of the day. To all of you who waited in long lines to sit in the drivers seat of your dream car, only to have a five year slip under your arm and hop into the seat before you even knew he was there. He really was sincere when he said, "Thanks Mister for opening the door for me." He simply couldn't imagine that you weren't holding the door open for him.

If you are wondering why I didn't try to stop him from butting in, well, that was me you saw running frantically, weaving in-and-out of crowds of people, laden down like pack-horse with coats, purses, bags, trying to figure out which was the Tyota/Ford/etc he was sprinting to next. I never quite caught up. And when I did finally reach the drivers door, he was crawling into the passenger seat, out that door and into the next car. Not once all day did anyone utter a impatient comment, or make him feel anything but thrilled. So, again, Thank-you.
Heaven or Hell - I guess it's all a matter of perspective :)

Here is a picture of our Little Guy (with Luigi)

Who Knew!

Tomorrow is World Kindness Day. Who knew? Not me, that's for sure.
At least I learned about it before, instead of after.

World Kindness Day was initiated by the World Kindness Movement, an organization I promptly applied to join on behalf of Deliberate Acts of Kindness. This is a description from their website:

The idea behind the World Kindness Movement (WKM) crystallised at a conference in Tokyo in 1997 when the Small Kindness Movement of Japan brought together like-minded kindness movements from around the world. The WKM was officially launched in Singapore on 18 November 2000 at the 3rd WKM Conference. The mission of the WKM is to inspire individuals towards greater kindness and to connect nations to create a kinder world.

If you have a moment check out some of the great events that are taking place around the world:

In the U.K......











In Singapore....

Now, what can dakbands do help celebrate World Kindness Day?
Anyone who leaves a comment, shares a dak, or makes a suggestion, here or on our facebook page, will receive a free set of dakbands - send me an email with your address after you post and together we'll celebrate World Kindness day.
eraakman@deliberateactsofkindness.com

Here is a kindness video to inspire us, from Humanity Healing International

Subway Kindness

This morning I was on the subway, heading once again toward the Toronto General Hospital for a check-up, when I witnessed the cutest act of kindness to date. My sister and I were sitting against the back wall of the train. The train was full. Across the isle, in the seats beside the doors, was a young man really enjoying what looked to be a breakfast burrito. Two elderly women were sitting in the seat perpendicular to his seat, which is to say, their knees were practically touching the edge of his seat. They were trying, somewhat unsuccessfully, to give him the privacy required to enjoy his breaky. But they were squeezed in tight and it looked to us like they were inadvertently sharing some of his meal. I forgot to mention that the young man was dressed quite nicely, business casual, as they say. With just a few bites to go he scrunches up the wax paper wrapped around the end of the burrito and savors each mouthful, unaware that all those yummy juices are now dripping out the end onto his lap. Mortified, the two women looked at each other, then discretely at him, then back at each other, then back at him......finally they couldn't stand it anymore. One woman reached into her handbag pulled out a napkin and laid it on his leg. Startled from his breakfast mission, he looked at them. With more than a little reluctance, they pointed to his lap, where now a good deal of the breakfast burrito had made it's mark. He began the mopping up, as they supplied him with an endless number of napkins from those purses.

I was so engrossed in the story that I didn't realize we were at our stop. As I jumped up to get off the train I tried to pull the dakbands off my wrist, but my hands were full with an umbrella, double-long virgin espresso, purse and newspaper. I missed the opportunity to give these two breakfast superheros their dakbands, but I want you all know that someone is always watching. Kindness is always good for the heart.

Soccer kindness

Some of you might consider this post an insignificant blip on the kindness radar, but it's the World Cup and I'm a huge fan. It has taken me a few days to figure out how to share our spectating experience of last weekend and weave in a kindness theme. Finally today it came to me: it was very, very kind of the School Bakery and Café to open at 7:00 am last Saturday so 300 (or so) Holland supporters could gather together to cheer on their team. (This is the place to watch the match if you are a Dutch fan - I learned this from another blog, which apparently every other Dutchman in Toronto reads as well)



Unfortunately, despite getting up at 5:30, leaving Burlington by 6:00 am, and arriving at the Café by 7:00, we were at the very back of this line. Apparently there are fans far more committed than us. We stood in line, enjoying the comaraderie, listening to the dutch, and admiring the shamelessness required to wear some of the costumes. We were not even close to getting inside and we seriously considered standing outside, but my need for caffeine and food was stronger than my need to commune with 200 dutchmen, dressed in orange and wearing wooden shoes. So we ran, literally, down the street to the Liberty Street Bistro. Where one very kind waitress, with the help of the manager, managed to serve everyone, including those on the patio, in the doorways, and on the street, with a smile. (We had first row seats inside!) I'm pretty sure this was the first time ever they'd opened at 7:00 am.

Holland won 1:0.



The next match is 3:30 pm on Thursday. I may still have to get up at 5:30 am to get a table at the School Bakery and Café, but I'm determined to experience at least one game there - who knows maybe it will be the final!!

Kind food!

Remember how I mentioned having a blog post I just couldn't find the time to write. Well, this is it. Despite being a crazy busy day (that included the best chocolate croissants this side of Paris, at Patisserie D'Or), I put my camera in the car and headed for downtown Burlington, in between lunch and a major Costco excursion.

A few weeks ago we were downtown looking for breakfast treats and we happened to park the car across from a new cafe. My husband noticed it as I shrieked in delight. It is called, 'kindfood'. Now how cool is that! So today I stopped by to take some pictures, introduce myself to the owner and drop off some dakbands, because anybody with that kind of consciousness deserves to be recognized. I just missed Kelly (the owner), but I met their awesome staff and took these pictures: (that's my reflection on the door)






Look at their terrace. If this doesn't make you want to rush on over to taste their yummy offerings, nothing will. I felt happy just standing outside looking at the place!

Here are some helpful links:

About
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Stop by and support the kindness!

Magic!

Unfortunately I was readmitted to the hospital last week due to complications with my new defibrillator. I am now recovering from an emergency surgery to replace the leads. Hopefully I'll be home and on my healing path to a full recovery today. As cliche as it sounds, I never would have imagined myself spending the better part of month in the hospital. Life is sometimes like a Belgian fog, it floats in silently, and without warning your orientation, your sense of direction and purpose are blanketed. Suddenly it is impossible to know where you are, or where you are going. I know from experience though that eventually it lifts and the landscape takes on a familiar, comforting compass point. I'm waiting for the fog to lift.

A cool, magical breeze blew in last night, diffusing some of that fog. A young man, Ellison, visited our room to entertain my room mate and I with magic tricks. He is an occupational therapist at Toronto Western Hospital by day, and in the evenings he volunteers his time as a magician. For twenty minutes he beguiled us and made us laugh. As the Mastercard commercials say, "Priceless".

Before he began Ellison asked each of us if we had ever performed magic. Dianne (another patient who was visiting with us at the time), immediately said "Yes". He asked her when. Without skipping a beat she replied, "When I gave birth to my three children". Again, "Priceless".

Wisely, Ellison also asked us (although slightly more tentatively after Dianne's response to his first question) what we liked most about magic. I replied, that I most loved the suspended reality, fantasy. Ellison explained that he most liked connecting with people and making them smile.

I gave him a package of dakbands. Perhaps the magic will travel.

Olympic Kindness

I may be the last to know, which makes this post somewhat redundant, but it is worth mentioning anyway because it is just plain cool.

The Toronto Star is free during the period of the Olympic Games. As a newspaper addict, I reeeeaaaalllly appreciate this unique and bold marketing concept!

If you learn of any neat stories of kindness relating to the Olympics in any way, please share them as a comment and I will send you some dakbands!

Squire Daks

Tonight we were leaving Ye Old Squire, after our Friday night fish & chips (delicious as always), and as we were leaving a twenty-something gentleman held the doors for us. I gave him some christmas daks (green and red) with my usual speel, "These are for acts of kindness in our community. One is for you to keep, the other you can give to someone else doing something kind."

His response, "Cool. I'll do that, thanks!"

Sometimes it's just the simple things.

“The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion and compassion and humor and style and generosity and kindness.” Maya Angelou

Striped Egyptian Hippopotamus

Today I was mailing our oldest son a care package - an exam tradition - so I was once again in line at the post office. I had no choice but to bribe Garrett with a striped Egyptian hippopotamus (daddy speak for zebra) that he found amongst a pile of plush toys in one of the aisles. While I was preparing the package and trying to keep Garrett from playing with the striped Egyptian hippopotamus on floor (because I had no intention of buying it!)I couldn't help but notice how the clerk was interacting with all the customers.

He was funny, attentive, patient and even shared a joke with an elderly Scottish woman who was in no hurry to leave at all. He created a sense of familiarity that brightened everyone's day and made us all feel great. I wasn't sure how he would react to the dakbands, being older and male, but his reaction was sincere and he immediately put them on his wrist. It really is all about the small gestures.

Yesterday was, sadly, a dakless day. Despite my dak senses being on full alert, I did not have one opportunity to share the kindness. Dakless days make me sad.

Might be Cheating

When we overslept and missed church, I knew that I might have missed my only opportunity to give away some dakbands. With three assignments due in the next two days I was fully committed to locking myself in the office and staying there until one of those papers was finished!

So while packaging some dak orders (okay I did leave the office for a few moments), I put a few extra sets in each order! I fully admit this might be stretching the concept and intention of giving away at least a pair of dakbands a day between December 1 and Christmas Day, but I had to do something!!

I promise to leave the house tomorrow.

I leave you with this beautiful quote that reminds me of the effect of kindness:

“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on [all] the faces surrounding him.” —Albert Camus
(1913-1960); Author, Playwright, Philosopher

I did not forget!

I did not forget to give away my dakbands yesterday, I just ran out of time to blog about it!

Yesterday was good dakband day in fact. Armed (literally) with my red and green festive bands I left the house early to start the day with my sisters kick boxing class. Perhaps it was the physical exhaustion, but I did not give any bands away at the club. Not to be discouraged I picked up my husband and son and we headed off to brave the Costco crowd. I'm sure you can image what the line ups are like three weekends before Christmas - it's not pretty. Not to be distracted we navigate the flow of shoppers, pick up just what we need and then line up to pay. It is a looong line. My husband realizes that we forgot compost bags and wonders if he should run to the back of the store to get them. My look suggests that he probably has enough time to run to the next Costco to get the bags. Wouldn't you know it, he hasn't rounded the aisle when two new registers open and now we are the first in line. I try unloading the cart slowly, stalling best I can, but there is soon a girl helping and before I know it the cashier is asking if I want this on my card. I explain that my husband went to get something we forgot. Her look pleads, This is really not a good time..... I tell her to just ring it threw, no problem, we'll forget about the compost bags. Of course, as soon as I sign the card I see James at the back of the line, well I think it's him, he is so far away it's difficult to say. Much to our relief, she invites him over and rings in the bags. Now that is kind!

We head back to our car, unload the groceries and the child, and a very kind gentleman offers to return our cart. I need to hang out at Costco more often.