Valentine Fairies

I just had to get this post up before the end of February. It's been almost a year since I've blogged, which seems unbelievable. Yet when I cast my gaze over my shoulder at the past twelve months I am amazed at the distance I've traveled given the difficult path I was on. It feels wonderful to be centred in the present, with such an exciting and hopeful future. One thing is certain though, I would not have survived without the kindness of friends and family. I was literally saturated with kindness and support. So thank-you to my amazing sister and her family, my parents who are always 'there for me', and my dear friends - you know who you are.

There are so many things to share. Firstly, and not necessarily related to dakbands, although people's feedback has certainly been kind! I have launched my new coaching website. Please take a moment to have a look.

Perhaps most importantly we have made some awesome programming changes to our website making it SO much easier for you to look for any stories associated with your dakband, and now you can share your story in just a few clicks. And you can share your story to all your favourite social media sites!! Imagine sharing your dakband story to Twitter and Facebook! And we have more changes coming!

I wanted to leave you with an inspiring story of kindness that manifested on Valentine's Day in Vancouver. My dearest friend Ainslie (of AinslieWear Fame), and a couple of her friends dressed up as Valentines Fairies and visited St. Paul's Hospital to cheer up the patients. Wow. (Ainslie is in the red scarf). I'll have to send some dakbands to those girls :)

It's good to be back. 
Be kind today!

Wonder and Happiness

 

A friend recently asked her FB friends to share their secrets of ‘being’ happy. This is an incredibly gifted artist wondering about the essence of happiness. She received 31 replies. I was not one of them, but I’ve been thinking…….

My six and a half year old (who recently, upon seeing a picture of me receiving my Brock Alumni of Distinction Award, remarked, “Mommy, you looked absolutely beautiful. That must have been hard work.” So I’m on fence about his kindness) asks me at least 500 50 times a day, “Don’t you wonder about…..” It could be anything: how he managed to get both legs in one leg of his shorts, how his ALL his lego ended up under the table, how he stayed in the lines while colouring, how all the webkins managed to meet at the bottom of the stairs for their staff meeting. Needless to say, wonder isn’t always the word I’m thinking. But what is amazing is that he always asks about my wonder when he is happy.

Etymologically wonder originates from the 13^th century word, wundor, and came to mean the emotion associated with some marvelous, astonishing thing. The dictionary describes the verb as meaning, to be curious about. So Garrett is constantly asking me if I am astonished, curious, even marveling, about his accomplishments – about what makes him happy. And when I take a deep breath after the fiftieth time to remember this perspective, I realize that wonder and happiness are connected.

In a recent article on the Greater Good website, Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor and author of the 2007 book, The How of Happiness, reveals some of her research about happiness. Interestingly, she has found that individuals who express gratitude are likelier to be happy, and she describes gratitude as wonder, among other things. But more perhaps even more importantly, she tested whether or not kindness increased happiness.

Guess what? It does. In fact, individuals who performed different acts of kindness throughout a week experienced a greater increase in happiness than those performing the same act over and over again. I wonder how she might feel about the dakband project :) 

Here is an incredible video that expresses wonder.

                                                                                                                                                       

What Caine has taught me

Usually, I am one of the last to jump on the band wagon of any kind - due primarily to the fact that I often don't even know there is a band wagon until the ride is over. However, in this case I think I'm an early adopter thanks to Karma Tube and their weekly video. I recommend you hop on because this 11 minute video deserves your attention.

Caine, the gentle, innocent, and unwitting, nine year old star of this short documentary has changed the direction of his life, and perhaps the lives of many others with some cardboard boxes, imagination and the simple faith of childhood. Watching him commit so completely to his project and vision, and then waiting expectantly, hopefully,  for customers,  is almost painful.........until Nirvan arrives. I won't reveal anymore. It might diminish the joy you are certain to experience.

Caine's arcade reminds me of the power of creativity and imagination, of what can happen when children put down technology and play. And Nirvan is an astute, and wise arcade authority, who has shared a beautiful story through his film. In recognition I am sending Nirvan some dakbands registered to Caine's Arcade. I hope that maybe Caine will even use some dakbands for his arcade prizes.

   

Reachable Moments

In his book, The Art of Affirmation, Robert Furey, writes of kindness as 'reachable moments'. Moments when people can truly be touched by affirmation, but the problem, he explains, is that these moments are "fleeting and easily missed" so we need to be attentive and observant in order to capture them. Funny, that's exactly how I feel. This quote from his book is a perfect, absolutely perfect, summary of kindness:

“Those who make compassion an essential part of their lives find the joy of life. Kindness deepens the spirit and produces rewards that cannot be completely explained in words. It is an experience more powerful than words. To become acquainted with kindness one must be prepared to learn new things and feel new feelings. Kindness is more than a philosophy of the mind. It is a philosophy of the spirit.”

A friend recently sent me this amazing story about kindness. It is powerful, beautiful, simple, and like all kindness, touching:

Put your dakbands on and start looking for those reachable moments. Affirm and encourage kindness. It will change your life, and those whom you dak.

Community Kindness

“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.”

The 14th Dalai Lama

What a beautiful piece of wisdom. Not that we should be surprised, the Dalai Lama is nothing if not wise. Simple truths have a way of reaching in and touching us in quiet, yet reflective ways. This one touches me. I think of what it means to cultivate rich, fertile soil....

I have a garden in my back yard. I grow all kinds of vegetables, herbs and perennials, with lots of help from my friend and community garden specialist, Carolin. The trouble is the soil in my garden is almost dead. It has taken three years, organic sheep manure, compost, importing worms, and lots of love to refurbish and restore the soil so that we could grow something, anything. It still isn't fertile enough, but we're getting there. With my own composter, installed this past spring, I feel like my soil will be happy again soon. All this time and effort, to make dirt healthy.

Now, imagine cultivating an appreciation of goodness, of kindness. What would that look like? What would grow? According to the Dalai Lama, goodness and kindness. Seems worth it to me. And it seems to me that Hamid Chaudhry, a Dairy Queen owner from Reading Pennsylvania, is an expert. In an article in the New York Times, a story is told about a man who understands what it means to till the soil of goodness. And because the dakband project is all about harvesting goodness, we'll be sending him some dakbands to share with his customers and community.

I don't have a picture of Hamid, but I can share some photos of goodness from my garden.....(but you can see a slide show of the article on our facebook page)

Wild Kindness

My husband, two sons, one girlfriend, a couple who have been friends for years, their two adult kids, and another friend of ours went camping for a week at Killbear Provincial Park. There were ten of us in total. We try to camp together at Killbear for a week every summer. It is usually an idyllic week that conjures up the kind of memories that imprint a family for a lifetime. This week was no different, well that isn't quite true. We were definitely left with some interesting memories, but maybe ones we don't want to relive next year.

To begin, just a few short hours before our departure, I broke my right ankle while out for my early morning run. With a pair of crutches and strict instructions to be completely non-weight bearing, and a frustrating amount of logistical re-planning, we eventually departed - against doctors orders.

Upon arrival we couldn't help but notice a large sign that read, Active Bear in Campground. For someone who is completely immobile this is not encouraging. Unkindly, the jokes began (primarily from the men in our large party): 'we don't have to worry about being faster than the bear, we just have to be faster than Elaine'....and so on....Two nights later I had the last laugh when my husband got up - from our tent - to investigate the damage we could hear raccoons creating in our dinning tent. A few moments later I heard a terrible, LOUD, SNARL. It didn't sound the snarl of a raccoon. As it happened, my husband found himself face-to-face (within 4 to 6 feet) with a large, black bear who was none to pleased that he had been interrupted while enjoying the bag of sugar he discovered in a bin that had been accidentally left out.

My husband ran, contrary to all directives about what to do when one encounters a black bear. I for one, am thankful he did. We discovered the next day that the sign warning us about the Active Bear, was somewhat misleading. There should have been an "S" on Bear. There were about 7 Active Bears in the park. One visited our campsite, or a campsite near us every night. It was a week of blissful, sun filled, beach filled days, and sleepless, anxiety ridden nights. We heard car alarms, horns, dogs barking and even blood curdling screams, all efforts to scare bears away from campers hunkered down in little more than a glorified baggy.

Once the bears disappeared into the cover of day, and campers finally emerged to survey any damage and brew some much needed coffee we felt a camaraderie with our fellow campers that we hadn't experienced before at the park. Everyone began to look out for each other, warn new campers coming into the park about bear proofing their sites, and offer help and advice to those who had the harrowing experience of listening to the snorting of bear outside their tent. We were united, and kindness abounded. Interestingly, most of us felt compassion for the bears despite our fears, aware that we were after all in their environment. The fact that they are becoming conditioned to feed in the campsites, cannot portend good things for the bears.

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest to the rest of the world."
John Muir (1838-1914); naturalist, author

As for me, I traded in my ineffective crutches (as far as running goes), for a much more sophisticated means of escape transportation:

Every so Often....

Every so often a story of kindness is so inspiring it becomes a movie. Usually though, that process takes many years. In this case, it's a matter of months.

Recently, a young man, Allan Guei won a free throw competition at his California high school (Compton High). The competition allowed all students with a 3.0 GPA or better the chance to win a $40,000.00 scholarship. There were 8 finalists, but Allan won the event. However at his June commencement he announced that he was splitting the money equally between the other 7 finalists, because he had already won a full scholarship to college. There was nothing stopping him from keeping the money, or even giving it to his family, instead he choose to pay the first year tuition of the other finalists. He choose kindness and compassion. I wonder how many of us would have made the same choice, under similar circumstances? I am inspired.

The story has become a full-length documentary that will be featured at the Sun Dance Film Festival this year.

We will be sending Allan and the finalists dakbands.

To see the trailer and some photos click here

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”
Dalai Lama

25 million

By chance, I happened to see this evening's 60 Minutes. I say 'by chance' because we don't have cable and only get about 3 channels, so it's not often I'm sitting in front of the TV. But this evening, my husband made a roaring fire (in the fireplace) and I couldn't resist curling up on the couch and looking for something to watch. Now I'm wondering how to share the story. About half way through the segment I began frantically looking for a pen and paper to take notes, but we all know how that turned out.

How is it possible that within a year approximately 25 million American children, 25%, will be living below the poverty line? Right now, that number is about 20 million. In tonite's segment, Homeless Kids: the hard-times generation, Scott Pelly interviews a group of children in Florida whose families have recently become homeless as a result of the recent great depression. These bright, beautiful, articulate, children describe what it's like to go to bed hungry, the shame of living in their mini-van in a WalMart parking lot, having the electricity shut off and doing homework by candle light, the fear of stigma should friends discover their secret, the fear that they are somehow responsible, the shame of seeing your father stand on the side of road with sign - begging for work.

I can tell you that despite the misery, every family, every story, shared a simple dignity, and great love that enabled them to persevere. And like many stories of suffering, there was also a redemptive theme of kindness. To the neighbours who opened their home to family who had lost theirs, we will be sending you dakbands, to the woman who found a job for the father with the sign, we will be sending you dakbands....and to all the families, and children who had the courage to share your story, we will be sending you dakbands. And to the ninety some odd people who left offers of help within moments of the show ending.....your kindness has not gone unnoticed.

I've Escaped!

I'm sitting at Starbucks, a place I usually try to avoid working at, due to my deep coffee addiction appreciation; but, I just had to get away from the kids out of the house. If you all haven't noticed it is already January 4th and I haven't been able to carve out a moment to share my New Years thoughts or my experience at the convent. I really, really, love my children, and now that their Christmas break is almost over, I'm really, really, happy to announce that they are both going back to their respective schools in just a few days (I'm certain that they are just as happy). So now that I have some space to think - I wouldn't exactly say that I have 'peace and quiet' here - without someone shouting, "MOM", I can get caught up.

So to begin, I want to wish everyone a Happy, Healthy, 2011.

For me, as the New Year approached I found myself becoming increasingly anxious. 2010 was a rough year, my diagnosis of apical ventricular cardiomyopathy and subsequent four surgeries pushed me into unknown, and frightening territory. I wanted to make the end of 2010, and the beginning of 2011 meaningful, significant - thus, the anxiousness. So, it seemed like Divine intervention when I came across the article in The Star, Spending New Year's Eve with the nuns. And that's what I did.

I arrived at the convent, The Sisterhood of St. John the Divine, at 10 am on the morning of the 31st and I left on New Year's Day at noon. My experience was everything I hoped for, and more. It was contemplative, restorative, inspiring, and gave me an intense experience of community. There were about 30 of us sharing a profound hope for a kind New Year. We came in all shapes, sizes, colours, ages, sexual orientations, and yet we all arrived with our experiences of 2010 seeping out of us unconsciously, begging for release. Sister Constance Joanna (CJ) guided us wisely, compassionately, through that release, and onto a vision for a New Year that expressed and embraced the hope that united such an unlikely group of individuals. During the retreat sessions held in the conference room our stories spilled out, but everywhere else in the convent, including meal times, we were committed to silence. A perfect balance. Silence and sharing.

Over the next few days I'll continue to write about the experience, share some photos, share the agenda of the retreat, and hopefully I'll be able to capture the emotion that we all experienced while walking the Labrynth, but for now, it's back to "MOM". My quiet time is over for today.

So Cool, My Oprah Moment, and "You Can't Buy Happiness"

I'm way behind in my blogging, blame it on the fact that I still do not have any Christmas shopping done - which would make you think that I probably should have been blogging since I wasn't out shopping - but I am spending a good amount of time stressing about it. At any rate, I've got three days worth of stories to share......

So Cool

I was standing in a long line at Starbucks last week (I know that an inordinate number of my blogs begin with that line......it's all free publicity), when I heard a woman sharing with someone else in line that she was spending the entire day running from Christmas concert, to Christmas concert. Three in total, one for each son. She named each son and their concert time. When I heard her mention her second son's name, Kohen, I was shocked. As she walked past to leave, I stopped her. I confessed to overhearing her conversation and explained that I too have a son named Kohen - and it's a name I've never, in 21 years, heard before. She said (and I quote), " Oh I named my son after a former student of mine I had in grade 10. He was such a handsome, smart, cool kid, and I loved his name. Kohen Bauer." I looked at her in disbelief, " Kohen Bauer is my son," I told her. So cool. I gave her some dakbands, and ran out to the car to call Kohen and share the story with him - through my tears! (She spells her son's name: Coen)

My Oprah Moment

I'll confess that one of my dreams is to meet Oprah - I really thought the dakband project might be my ticket, but no luck so far. However, I did have a real life Oprah like moment last week. At the beginning of November I featured a story on our Facebook page about an amazing cheerleading team from Dublin High School in California. Clik on the link and watch the video, it is simply amazing. Well, last week their coach, hosted a Christmas party for all the girls, and surprised them with the dakbands as gifts. I Skyped into the party and was projected onto a big screen in the gymnasium (so Oprah like!) and told the girls how proud I was of them, and explained how to use the bands. Then they all paraded past me and introduced themselves. SO COOL. I even got to meet Rachel (watch the video). I asked her what it was like to be a star, since she has been all over the media since becoming Home Coming Queen. She told me that being a Queen has taken a little getting used to!!

You Can't Buy Happiness

That's what Allen and Violet Large assert. They should know. They recently won 11 million dollars, and gave 98% away to charity. At 78 years of age, and after 36 years of marriage, these two Maritimers, have each other, and their health - at least for the most part (Violet is undergoing cancer treatments). That's all they need. Oh, and maybe a few sets of dakbands that I'm sending them tomorrow. Read about their generosity here.

Daks: improve your well-being

Recently I stumbled across a super TED speech by Happiness Researcher, Nic Marks. Not only is he a great speaker, witty and poignant, but the concept is foundational to the future of our planet. Mr. Marks has created the Happy Planet Index, which essentially measures national well-being against the use of resources.

I guess it isn't surprising that the worlds most developed nations do not rank highly on the list. In fact, Costa Rica is the most highly ranked country, followed by the Dominican Republic and Jamaica. The index is a compilation of three measures: life expectancy, life satisfaction and ecological footprint. Canada is ranked 89 out of 143 countries, the U.S. is 114th.

What might this have to do with kindness and the dakbands you ask? Well...the New Economic Foundation (nef), of which Nic Marks is the founder, was commissioned by the U.K. government (in 2008) to develop a set of evidence-based actions that improve well-being. They reviewed the inter-disciplinary work of 400 researchers and came up with five evidence-based actions. I am encouraged. The first of the five is:(image is from the nef website)



It's time to make the dakbands a national phenomenon, we definitely need to improve our ranking. Apparently, the U.K and the U.S. need them as well :)

With that in mind, I have to make another plea for your votes. Please take a moment to vote for us (scroll down to find the Deliberate Acts of Kindness project), for the grant from Freerange Studios and ask everyone you know to vote as well - we need your help to improve the well-being of people around the world.

Finally

A year or so ago I had this great idea to send dakbands to individuals and/or organizations that were featured in the media for their kindness, generosity, compassion, etc...Somehow I just never got around to getting myself organized enough to carry it through. Yet, the past couple of weeks, I have happened upon some stories that inspired me to stop making excuses, and start making the time. Sort of.

It really isn't my time, but Maryann's. Over and over again she offers to help with the dakband project and for the most part I haven't had anything really concrete to offer her. So guess what she is doing now? She is our official media dakker. I send her the links to stories, she does the requisite research and sends out the dakbands - with a little note from the Dak Team. I dropped all the materials off at her place today.

Every time we send some dakbands, I will follow-up with blog post and a facebook post so you can share in the excitement.

To kick things off I prepared our first two mailings this evening.

The first package is going out to Clare Kravchenko who was featured in today's Star. Her story is both inspiring and heart-breaking. I am moved by her strength and grace, and look forward to seeing all the acts of kindness that her bands generate.(Not to mention that she raised $30, 000.00 for the Weekend to End Women's Cancers.)

The second package waiting to go out the door is for Mike Holmes. That's right, Holmes on Homes. He announced a new project that will involve partnering with the Assembly of First Nations to build green, affordable housing in aboriginal communities across the country. The goal for the first year is to build 50 homes. Talk about finally. Finally, an opportunity to not only improve the condition in which many First Nations people live, but raise awareness as well. I hope Mike's act of kindness is something we can all follow and share through the dakbands.

Extraordinary Kindness

Today I didn't even put the paper down before I began to write this post. When individuals can reach through (what must be) profound grief to extend kindness I believe we all evolve just a little. Such acts of generosity touch the sole of humanity.

In today's story, 'An exceptional gift of life' two women, mothers of babies born four months premature, find their lives and stories entwined. Nicole's baby, Lillian, was born March 4, while Jennifer's baby, Max, was born April 16. Both babies were born at Overland Park Regional Medical Center in Kansas. Breast milk was critical to the survival of both babies due to the medical conditions with which they were born. Both mothers were pumping their breast milk for their critically ill infants; however, Jennifer soon ran out milk for her son Max. Nicole on the other hand, had a freezer full since her daughter Lilly was too ill to use it. They were saving it for her recovery. When Lillian died in May, Nicole gave all of her breast milk to baby Max.

On August 17, after four month in the neonatal critical care unit, Max went home for the first time. Nicole was there to see him off. Kindness can be so bittersweet.

Tolerance: A Special Kindness

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. --Leo F. Buscaglia

I facilitate workshops for sport associations and sport governing bodies that focus on sportsmanship - which is it's own special kind of kindness (and why we have sportdaks!). One of the messages we present is the abolishment of 'zero tolerance' policies. I never quite understood how they gained so much momentum in the first place. Municipalities and organizations invested far too much money creating documents that essentially sent exactly the opposite message to the one that was needed! We need to teach, model, encourage and reinforce tolerance in every aspect of our lives. Tolerance is critical expression of kindness.

When I came across this article in the Toronto Star the other day I made sure to put the story in a place where I could find it easily - not the garage:)Despite a history that spans centuries of cultural and religious wars, all it takes is a few individuals with compassionate hearts and minds, and an understanding that tolerance can change the world, to inspire us.

If you share a comment about an example of tolerance that inspired you, I'll send you some dakbands - for free!!

Playground Kindness

I often save sections of the newspaper whenever I come across a story that may be fodder for a post. However, as you might guess, when I finally get around to writing I can rarely find the story that inspired me to save the paper in the first place. This is strangely frustrating, and convinced that perhaps I saved the wrong section, I spend an inordinate amount of time in my garage leafing through papers in my blue box. Thank goodness I found the article I had in mind this evening because my garage is like sauna (albeit a smelly sauna).

Please take a moment to read this article from the Toronto Star, it is the epitome of community, kindness and contribution.

Here is the link to the organization responsible - they have a really cool video that shows the volunteers building a playground.

If you haven't already seen our new website design please have a look, it's awesome. Of course now, I have to keep our facebook page updated and perhaps even try to tacke the twitter phenomenon.

Dakbands in Community

Every so often I receive a note or email that reminds me how important the Dakbands really are to community. When an individual, or in this case a group of individuals manifest the true intention of the bands with their understanding of the power of kindness to change the way we live in the world, I am hopeful. I am hopeful that we can elevate our collective consciousness and encourage choices that enrich the communities within which we live and work. A few weeks ago a friend forwarded me such an email. I attempted to write the story myself, then realized that it would have more impact if Meghan told it herself:

My name is Meg McEwen and I’d like to share my story. I didn’t realize that day I received my first DAK band the impact it would have on my life. Its such a simple concept with a huge message…be aware, be deliberate and act kindly. As Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote in his book, The Power of Intention, “ Research has shown that a simple act of kindness directed toward another improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates the production of serotonin in both the recipient of the kindness and the person extending the kindness. Even more amazing is that persons observing the act of kindness have similar beneficial results. Imagine this! Kindness extended, received, or observed beneficially impacts the physical health and feelings of everyone involved!”
I work at an Agency in Niagara that supports individuals living and affected by acquired brain injuries. Working in the field for almost ten years I know how disconnected most people can feel from one another and themselves. Since I have brought the Dakbands into our residence of six men, things have changed. These men are working as a team but most of all empowering themselves and one another. They not only can’t wait to receive a band, but they are excited to give them away! Right now the bands are being used as a tool within our home but we look forward to spreading them throughout the community this summer! At Brain Injury Community Re- entry, we as rehabilitation counselors provide support and leadership. The Dakbands are now allowing the participants to practice this for themselves and each other. It’s my belief that these bands are contributing to the development and advancements in their rehabilitation. Thank-you for making this possible!

Thank you so much from BICR,

Meghan McEwen

From Oakville to Australia

Band # 163998
Please go to our Track your dak page and type the band number in the window that says 'dak code' - click go, scroll down



Day 19 of 31

The Kindness of Strangers

When I woke up this morning my husband asked me if I had heard about the act of kindness that was being featured all over the radio? I never did hear it on the radio, but I found the story on the internet.

Summary:
A woman took her car into the garage to be repaired. When she was told the repairs would cost $350.00 she told the mechanic it would take over a month to save that kind of money because her husband had just lost his job.

Another client waiting for his car overheard the conversation and the woman's desperation. He paid the bill for her. No strings attached.

When the woman contacted the local paper to thank the stranger publicly, the newspaper did some sleuthing to discover who he was. Paul LeBlanc, president of Southern New Hampshire University.

Today I sent Mr. LeBlanc some dakbands!